Earth Shaking, Doors Opening, & Breaking Free! Acts16:26


 Kim's Testimony

I was not raised in this faith, didn't really go to church much when I was a child, but always knew somehow God had something greater for me. I recieved the Holy Ghost when I was 14 years old, my parents about 6 months after I did. I must say it's the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

Every since I got the Holy Ghost I have prayed for God to us me. I am one of those people that like to be used by God, but not have to go through the fire. Well, When I was about 17 I got my calling to be a missionary. I was scared to death, didn't really want it, told God that I'd do anything but, but God said no! This is what I have for you, this is what you will do. I sometimes think God is crazy for calling me, little ole me, into the mission field, but I am happy He did (now)!

About a year ago my life took on a drastice change. I had phrophecies coming from every which way that God was going to use me in a mighty way. That God was going to show up in my life and prove Himself to me like never before. I had one that I remember very clearly. The lady that phrophecied to me said, " God has shown me this blanket. In this blanket holds every dream, every desire, every work that you have ever wanted to do for God. BUT God will not let this blanket fall on you until you learn to PRAISE Him with all of your heart and learn to lean on Him." Well at that moment I was thinking, God I do trust you, I do praise you. Now it's very clear to me what that prophecy was about. There was things in my life that I was holding onto, things people had done and said to me that I couldn't let go of because I didn't fully trust God.

From that moment on, my life hasn't been the same. About 6 months ago, I picked up my life from my home town and moved to another town about 3 hours away from home, to live with my aunt because I felt that it's what God wanted me to do at the time. Let me rephrase that, I knew that's what God wanted me to do at the time. I was there about a week and I was outside (because at night time it is so beautiful at her house) and prayed a simple prayer, God I will praise You, even if I loose everything. As most everyone knows when you are on cloud nine and you have, litterally, everything in life that you had ever wanted. At that time I felt I was totally in the will of God. Was suppose to be getting married, everything with my ministry was starting to play out. I had a brother, that I'd been praying for, for YEARS to get the Holy Ghost, that was going to church and you could really see God working with him. I had everything I had ever wanted in my hands.

Well, about a week after I prayed that prayer my world just crumbled! I remember the exacted date, october 12, 2009. That's the day my fiance broke off the engagement. Said that it wasn't the will of God and that he just didn't want to be with me. Keep in mind that I prayed over that relationship and God lead me straight to that. I prayed for this guy to say certain things, do certain things, for certain things to happen, if this was the will of God. I never got one NO. God said go ahead, right up until the night before when me and him had planned on getting married the next day. (we were gonna run away) Anyways, The morning that he broke everything off is when my life crumble. Not shortly after that my brother stopped coming to church, my mom was facing yet another surgery that she had already gone through 2 times (now 3) in the past 3 years. Felt like what ministry I had I couldn't do anymore because, I couldn't hold my own life together, how was I going to witness to other people.

I went into this very deep depression. When I say depression I mean depression! Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, when I did sleep the devil would make my mind his little play place and I would wake up screaming and crying and just scared to death! Have no idea what I was dreaming about, really didn't care. There were weeks, more often than not, that the only time I would get out of my bed was to go to church and that was it. I didn't want to talk to anyone, didn't want to see anyone, I just wanted to be left alone. There were times that the only thing I could do was sit on my knees and cry and pray for God to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING. Now, I know that to most people a break up is a break up. It happens, you get over it and move on, I should have done that with this one, as I did with all the ones before him, but there was just something about this situation that wouldn't let me go. As I look back on it now, although I still believe that I was in the exact will of God, and that that marrage was ment to be, at the time, that trail, that storm was a blessing. Because in all my heart ache, in all of my pain, the one person I wanted to talk to was God. This storm brought me closer to Him.

The depression went on for about 3 months, 3 very long months. Then one night I deside that I'd go visit a church, because my church was out that Sunday night. I have many friends there and wanted to see them, haven't seen them in a while. Anyways at the end of the service the pastor said, "for those of you who have a situation and need God to fix it step out in the isle". So I step out, not to far, just far enough where I could say I was out, ha. I closed my eyes and was in my own little world and a friend of mine came and prayed for me, he didn't really know to much about my situation just knew that I was in a storm that I needed God to touch, he told me that God was fixing to give me peace over my situation. Well, sadly I didn't get the peace that night. The following Wednesday night at my church, we had one of those "shouting services". Most of the time when we have a service like that my pastor want even preach. But this night, he got up there and his message was, "The Lord is on His way". Talking about wanting to shout all over again! The one line that I remember out of this message, he said that in his spirit he could see God picking up the peaces to someones world and putting them back together again, and when God get through with your world it will be greater than anything you ever imagened, and you will be more beautiful in your spirit than you would have ever imagened! I couldn't do anything but sit there and cry, because I knew that one line out of that message was for me! Whenever I would talk about what happened I would simply say, "my world just crumbled".

I got out that night, felt great for a few minutes then I had to get in the car and drive home. For me, driving anywhere by myself at this time in my life was very lonely, didn't like to be in a car by myself. I got in the car and the same lonely, depressed feeling I had came right back. But I told God that He promised He'd fix it, so I will remain faithful and trust that You will do it in Your time. After that message was preached, it seemed like the devil just jumped on me even greater than he'd already been messing with me. About 2 weeks after that we had a visiting preacher come and preach for us, my pastor's dad. He is an awesome man of God by the way! Anyways, he called me out and asked me how long it'd been since I had gotten a REALLY GOOD touch from God, and I told him it'd been a while, and he just looked at me and smiled and said well guess what, You're fixing to get one! He prayed for me, and I prayed, didn't really shock me, didn't really feel all that much, I spoke in tongues a little bit and it was over. Now, in church services before this I would go and shout, and run the isles and speak in tongues but never really got what I needed, just got enough to last me until next time.

After that service where he prayed for me, I got in my car, again a very lonely place for me. Didn't really hit me then that I had been delivered, drove home, fixed me something to eat, sat down to rest, got back up and got ready for church again that night. The devil almost had me convence that I didn't get what I needed from God that morning when the preacher layed hands on me, ALMOST THAT IS. I got back in my car to go to church that night and as soon as I hit the seat it all hit me, it was litterally like someone was sitting in the passenger seat with me. I sat there for a very long time and just cried and thanked God for what he had done.

When you are in that state of mind, that depressed state of mind where you just don't care about anything I don't think anything hits you right away, atleast it didn't for me. From that moment when I realized that I had been delivered up until this very minute I have felt God walking beside me atleast once or twice a day, sadly, it's not as strong a feeling as it once was. For about a week after that every step I took, every where I went I always felt there was someone right there beside me, holding my hand. For me, it was life changing, an experance that I will never forget.

I told my dad one time, that in my mind I picture the devil going to God, just like with Job, with all of this the moment I prayed that prayer, and asking God, hey can I test her on that? Lets see how strong she really is, how much she really loves you. But, devil if you only knew what I would be after the storm, you would have never bothered me. I also picture in my mind God saying go ahead devil, she loves me, she want turn away from me, and God was right. Cause when you have the devil, litterally laughing in your face, you get mad and determined enough to stay with God.

I am now the leader of the sign team at my church. Very active with my church. I love God more than ever. My mom came through her last surgery great, and my brother recently got married, IN MY CHURCH, by MY PASTOR, and has been coming once a month for the last about 3 months. Slowly but surely I see my world coming back together, maybe not the way I would have done it myself, but the way God wants it to be. Which is far better than anything than I could have done for myself.

I strongly believe that the only reason I made it through this trail is because of that prayer I prayed. "God I will praise You even if I loose everything!" If I had not prayed that prayer it is no telling where I'd be today. I made a promise to God that I intend to keep!

Kim- .