Today I am OVERWHELMED by the power of God. When people use that word, I really don’t think they understand what or how BIG that word really is? I am overwhelmed by the power of God that my physical heart feels stretched to the point that I feel pain. Not an emotional pain but a physical pain. I shook under the power of a big and mighty God. Literally! I understand why our bodies will have to be changed when we see him in his fullness. Too much power and glory for this wretched body.
People like me don’t like going to the doctors because first we don’t want to pay a price for any service rendered and 2nd we don’t want to know what’s wrong! But this day I have been shown something a little at a time. 1st it was through others…I saw the selfishness in other saints of God and I thought to myself could they not see what they have become? Giving to the elite in the church and brushing the geeks, freaks and widow away. Jesus, please open their eyes…. then God allowed that thought to linger with in me.
Then I saw someone singing praises to God, while another sat in judgment of how that song should have been sung. I see this one a lot. Young people can’t seem to find “GOD” in the old hymns settling that those songs are old and stale and Old saints “KNOW” that the new song have nothing to do with God but everything to do with the beat. So thinking within themselves that I will not praise God because this will only encourage the other group that their song WAS the will of God. Then I thought, what nerve to sit here and tell someone else how their song to God should be sung. How arrogant can you be? Then God allowed that thought to linger.
Then the preached word came forth this morning. It was about Naaman, a captain of the guards of Syria. He was a leper. He wanted God to heal him but when the man of God told him to dip in the Jordan 7 times, he got mad. I thought his arrogance would keep him from getting a miracle and the more I thought on this the more convicted I became. Then every thought God made me hang on too became a puzzle that was being solved right before my eyes. I could see the word HYPROCRITE being solved and a picture of someone coming forth. The preached word was doing something to me but even though it felt piercing I did not want to stop it. Then as the man of God spoken on, my spirit felt God show me a scale. Then he took all my praise, all the songs that I sang to him and all the worship that I have given him and he laid them on a scale. On the right side it was my purest worship, my purest praise, it had a sweet sent to it. On the other side it was rotten worship…I don’t even think that was worship at all, but it was titled “ME”. Then God filled the scales with my praise and it tipped quickly towards me. Scriptures that apply to this swarmed around my head but the one that stuck out was “I never knew you”. Then the puzzle was finished and the picture of the hypocrite was me. I was the new generation of “Pharisees”. I sung songs not for His glory but my own. I wanted others to worship because it made me think I was in the will of God. If they didn’t feel God, it wasn’t because of me. I was wrong but this time it was different. I saw myself siding with the crowd that was crying CRUCIFY HIM. How did I get here?
God revealed and I could not hold back the tears. I worship so much, I felt my soul shout! It seemed that everyone body was replaced with the spirit of God. So everyone who touched me sent a jolt of power through my body. The shell that I was was being recharged from above and through everyone that touched me. I couldn’t get enough. If Satan wanted to change my mind, he didn’t have a chance. GOD was all around me, working something wonderful. Then, I knew what I would have to do. Boy, doesn’t God have great timing. It just so happens that the “Goodwin’s” had to sing to night. I walked back to my son and said I don’t want you to sing tonight, you can sing later. Tonight I must do something. He agreed but was curious why I was crying so much. Then as they announce we will be taking up the offering it was my cue. I walked up to the mic and shook almost violently. I was going to do something that was not going to make my appearance look good. My eyes were fat from crying so much, I shook like I had palsy and I was about to confess my wrong to the church. But did I want to stop this? NO. I had absolutely no fear just great conviction. Only a strong sense to set it right, not caring for a response by the saints of God but wanting God to stretch out in me. It did not matter if my testimony would confirm in their heart what I was. Only 2 things I cared for at this point. Make it right with my God and that my kids understand that should never use this altar, this pulpit as a platform to boost them selves.
I realize that I have VICTORY not because I speak with tongues or that I run under the power of God. I found my victory through conviction and revelation. A Pharisee cannot be convicted. Hence I am no longer a Pharisee because I saw my fault and God OPERATED on me. The revelation of who I really am is liberating. I am not the person who chooses what song God wants to hear, but I am to find God in every song and every preached word. I am not to sit in the seat of judgment any more, but I am to kneel and worship God with everyone or by myself.
To God be ALL the GLORY,
Pearl